Marital Bliss
by eternata
Summary: Written for a drabble challenge - talks of marriage, Yuuri being very disturbed, and random fluff.


Written for a drabble challenge - Something with Yuuri and Wolfram in it. Plus Conrad, Celie and Gunter (hereafter known as the peanut gallery). Plus random fluff. Plus the third or fourth working title this drabble has gone through, and I still don't like it. The title, at least.  
  
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Marital Bliss  
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The first protest arose over the issue of the outfits. Up 'til then, Yuuri had just been dragged in the wake of Gunter and Celie's enthusiastic planning in a state of detached horror, until presented with the intended attire of the... spouse and spouse, at which point he fell off his chair with a strangled yelp and had to be helped to his feet by a concerned Conrad.   
  
"HELL NO--thanks Conrad--NO," Yuuri said, looking like he was on the verge of having an epileptic attack. "You can get me in your horribly embarrassing local underwear, but I am not wearing that in front of the entire country during a state occasion!" He paused. "And besides, I'm the Maou, and Wolf's prettier than I am, shouldn't he wear the dress instead?"   
  
He snuck a glance in Wolfram's direction to see if he needed to duck or cower behind any furniture for that observation, but Wolf's expression was somewhere between "righteously disgruntled" and "slightly peeved", which meant that he was feeling fairly mellow at the moment.   
  
"Idiot," Wolf said scathingly. "I'm representing my estate, so of course I'm going to wear my dress uniform."  
  
"Right," Yuuri said, "Okay, fine, good, but still, I'm the Maou, isn't this kind of undignified? And /black/? It's not a funeral or anything, you know..."   
  
"I don't see anything undignified about it, Highness," Celie said cheerfully. "I wore a dress /just/ like this for my wedding. This brings back memories..."   
  
Yuuri buried his face in his hands with a heartfelt moan that could have meant anything from "please kill me" to "/Conrad/, help!".   
  
"Do we really have to do this so soon?" he asked plaintively, not lifting his head. "There's still so much I need to learn about the country, and seventeen is kind of young to be settling down, and I only just got used to all this Maou business..."  
  
"You /were/ the one who proposed to Lord Wolfram," Gunter said apologetically.   
  
"It was an accident!"   
  
"...and it's traditional for the Maou to secure ties through marriage..."  
  
"With another /boy/?!"   
  
"It's not uncommon," Gunter replied, implacable.  
  
This time, Yuuri's groan carried definite overtones of "Conrad, /please/ kill me now," prompting him to take pity on the suffering boy.   
  
"His Highness has a point," he noted calmly. "It must be hard enough trying to adapt to a new lifestyle already, perhaps the marriage can wait until he's more settled in."   
  
"THANK you, Conrad," Yuuri breathed, resting his head and arms on the table for a moment, before bolting upright and yelping. The temperature in the corner of the room, where Wolf had been lounging by the bay window, had dropped several ominous degrees through the course of their discussion and was now fast approaching sub-arctic.   
  
"If you don't want to get married," Wolfram said icily, "You just have to say so, and save me the trouble of getting saddled with you, anyway."   
  
"Come on, Wolf," Yuuri said, backtracking furiously. "You know I didn't mean that..."   
  
"Then what /did/ you mean?" Wolfram asked. "That you want more time to go dancing around with common human females?"   
  
Yuuri yelped again. "Wolf, that's not fair! It was only the once, and she's like half my age, come /on/."  
  
"It only happened once, that's what they /all/ say," Wolfram snorted.   
  
"Come on, Wolf, I didn't say I wanted to call the engagement off or anything, don't you think you're overreacting?"  
  
"...," said the three onlookers, who knew better than to get into the middle of the discussion, although Gunter raised an eyebrow at Yuuri's last statement and winced.   
  
"Overreacting? Do you want me to show you overreacting? I don't know who in the five great kingdoms I could possibly have offended enough to end up saddled with an oaf like /you/, but..."  
  
Wolfram's speech continued along that vein, only becoming more impassioned as he went on. His face was turning slightly red, stark against his pale complexion, although he managed to restrain himself from full-out screaming at Yuuri. Gunter began to check the room surreptitiously for hiding places before Wolfram started to call on the elements.  
  
Even over Wolf's rant, the sound of Yuuri's chair scraping back as he stood up was loud, as were the echoes of his footsteps across the stone floor.   
  
Louder still was the slap that he delivered decisively, open palmed and right-handed.  
  
"...," said the rest of the room again, more emphatically, although Celie's smile was inordinately pleased.  
  
"Ow," said Yuuri, shaking his hand. "Sorry, Wolf, did I hit you too ha--OW!"   
  
Wolfram raised his hand again, threateningly, and Yuuri stepped back, rubbing at the abused spot on the back of his head.   
  
"IDIOT," Wolfram said, "That HURT."   
  
He didn't look angry, or upset, but the red tinge to his face only became darker.   
  
-owari  
  
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/fluff 


End file.
